Didi Edet is an in-house dating coach at Lagosmatchmaker; a privacy-focused matchmaking platform for singles of over 25 years.
She is the first United States certified and award-winning dating coach in Nigeria and has been matchmaking for over 7 years.
Didi is an Economics graduate from the prestigious Howard University in Washington, DC and master’s degree holder in international strategy from the University of St-Andrews, Scotland.
In this interview, Didi shares the need for matching making, challenges of a matchmaker and lots more.
Can you tell us more about what you do?
I am a Certified Dating Coach with Lagosmatchmaker. We focus on connecting singles above 25 years and letting them enjoy the dating process. We do not divulge into the relationship aspect which is a bit broader. We focus on meeting an individual, having a first and second date.
Why did you go into matchmaking?
Lagosmatchmaker is a privacy-focused matchmaking platform for like-minded individuals and was birthed out of the need for privacy in certain aspects of our lives like dating. A lot of my friends I spoke to wanted to be able to search for a date without leading with who they are.
In this age of Internet fraud, how can one trust online matchmaking?
I don’t think there is any worry about internet fraud with lagosmatchmaker because it’s not strictly an online matching platform. We do have an office located off Admiralty way, Lekki, Lagos where clients can come in and have a discussion about the process, if they so wish. But we discovered that a lot of people don’t have the time which is why a lot of our work is done online.
Who qualifies to consult a matchmaker? And can you be consulted?
Anyone with a busy schedule can consult a matchmaker. I always say, it’s the same as outsourcing cleaning or cooking because you don’t have the time to do those things yourself. The same way matchmaking is a service that helps busy people who have little or no time to socialize and meet someone at their convenience.
Why are men shying away from making the first move?
I would not say men are shying away from making the first move. Men for decades have been told they alone could make the first move but in this new era, women are now able to make the first move so you might find an increase in the number of women searching for a man. That’s because it’s new and it’s effective than having to choose a spouse out of just the ones that choose you. These days, you can make a choice rather than choosing from your available options.
How should a woman react if she loves a man but feels the man should make the first move?
I would tell that lady to make the move herself because I do believe in communicating what you feel as opposed to being quiet and hoping in some magical way, he should know how you feel.
Valentine Day might have passed, but do you think there is too much fuss about Valentine?
Valentine day has always had a lot of attention as deserved. It’s like every other holiday or memorable day, it deserves to be celebrated.
How best should a couple celebrate Valentine?
There is no one way to how a couple should celebrate Valentine’s Day, different strokes for different folks.
What are those things that should be put into consideration before going into marriage or a long term relationship?
I stay on the dating aspect of life and not the relationship aspect as I am exploring that myself. Relationships are too broad to try to understand so I rarely divulge into actual relationship discussions or advice.
What are the major challenges you face? How do you tackle them?
The challenges we encounter are often being able to better explain what the platform does and the process.
What would you say is the height of your career?
We aim to keep matching and creating lasting relationships.
What are the types of people on the platform?
We have a huge variety of people from various locations and various statuses. We have singles that have never been married, divorced, widowed and more. Our client base can be described as the working class that may not have a lot of time for social activities so outsource a part of their social life to us.
Can those who want a date, see the pictures of people before they meet them?
Our platform is privacy-focused so this means privacy is our highest priority. We don’t circulate or post pictures of members. However, we can exchange pictures of members with the permission of that party. We have had a lot of successful matches with this formula so we know it’s something that works for us.
When they sign up, will they have an unlimited number of people to meet?
No, you will have a fixed number based on your membership level and this was done to make people take their matches seriously because in a situation where you have unlimited matches, we have seen people abuse that by finding little excuses to not give the person a chance because they feel there are a million more at their beck and call so they are not as intentional with their choices.
Is this strictly online?
No, we have an office located in the heart of Lekki and it’s open for enquiries but we do find that majority of our client base are busy so we are more efficient with the online network and work faster that way.
What advice would you give to singles out there?
I feel everything you want in life can be achieved if we put in efforts. If you want a job, you get qualifications and make the effort to apply for it. I feel effort should be applied to dating too as opposed to sitting and hoping for things to magically fall in place, I feel if you want love, put the effort to search for it. We are here to make that an easy process.