I wasn’t born into wealth neither did I marry into wealth. Life hasn’t been easy for me right from my childhood. I have passed through so much in life all because of my dad’s abhorrence for me.
The most painful aspect is that his taunts made me rush into the wrong marriage. A marriage I regret going into. But, my only consolation in life today is my three-year-old son born out of that unhappy marriage.
I am the second girl but third child of six children. I noticed that since childhood, my father and I cannot stay in the same place for long. He favoured my other siblings more than me. When it comes to my education, even If I was the first child to tell him about school matters, he ensures I’m the last child he attends to and at his convenience. He almost made me miss my WAEC exams. But thank God for my mother who finally paid for my WAEC exams a day to the end of the registration.
Even though I passed my exams with flying colours, I decided to go and learn catering since I loved cooking. I was so convinced my father wouldn’t see me through university even if I wrote JAMB and passed. And I didn’t want to inconvenience my mother who maintains the home front with the meagre money she makes from her small provision shop.
When I announced to my family that I was going to learn catering, my father laughed and mocked me. He told me to my face that since I was an inconsequential child, he wasn’t surprised at my decision.
I took my destiny in my hands and went to a catering institute. After graduation, I started getting little jobs here and there. And before long, I started making my own money. He taunted me for everything I did and said. In fact, at a point, my father told me that my face irritates him and that he cannot withstand my presence at home. I was shocked and hurt by his words.
Weeks later, I got a job at one of the eateries. I was super excited. There I met Wale who was one of the supervisors. He took an interest in me and we started dating. Wale was so nice, loving and caring. All the love and affection I didn’t get from my father, he gave it to me and this attracted me more to him.
Before I knew it, I discovered that I was pregnant. And Wale was thrilled about the news of the pregnancy. When I informed my family, my father called me a child of disgrace. The only day my father smiled with me and called me his daughter was the day Wale and his family came to pay my bride price. I was in tears when I heard my father call me his daughter and also smiled with me for the first time in my life.
The following week, Wale and I had our court wedding. I was overjoyed that I had finally escaped my father’s taunts as I looked forward to starting my small but happy family with Wale.
I can confidently say that I only enjoyed my marriage for just three months even though I was married for four years. And those three months Wale hid his true identity so well.
First, he gave me a stern warning to stop cooking delicacies like afang, oha and egusi soup he claimed to love so much while we were dating. While I was still recovering from that shock, Wale brought home a four-year-old boy. When I confronted him about the boy, he told me he was his son. I was five months pregnant then, I was shocked. I asked him why he didn’t tell me about the boy and he emphatically asked me what difference it would have made if he had told me before or now. He then told me the boy’s mother was dead although they didn’t get married. I also discovered so many other things about Wale that frightened me.
I also endured every insult I received from Wale because of my son until some months back when I decided to walk out of the sham called marriage so that I don’t lose my sanity.
I had to go and live with my younger sister with my son. And something shocking happened recently. My father who had not spoken to me in years called to apologize for his ill-mannered treated towards me all these years. He confessed that his animosity towards me began when as a child he became envious of the way one of our neighbours always pampered and showered me with so much love over my siblings. He alleged that the man loved me so much that people around always thought he was my biological father and that infuriated him.
He apologised and begged for my forgiveness. I was speechless! Should I just forgive him for the taunts that led me into a wrong and miserable marriage? It also dawned on me that Wale never loved me; he met a young lady who yearned for the love and attention she couldn’t get from her father, leveraged on it and also got a mother for his son. It hurts so much. Can I ever forgive my father?