When I got home, I told myself, “One rape in a life time is bad enough but to go through it thrice was unbearable. There and then, I vowed that I will kill any man who tries it again.” I never failed to constantly ask myself why life has been so unfair to me. I decided to put it behind me and make something out of my life.
Today I am happily married to Raphael but I am scared of sex and I hardly enjoy it even if I want to. And because of my attitude towards sex, Raphael has asked me severally if I have ever been raped but I said no. “How could I tell my husband that I have been raped thrice, one of which was by a gang of five? He will think something is wrong with me,” I told myself.
One evening, when Raphael came back from work, he informed me that his cousin Festus will be arriving from London the next day and he would be spending a month with us. He told me how notorious Festus was before he met his wife who turned his life around. He asked me to get the guest room ready for him. The next day, I got home early just to ensure all was set before Raphael and Festus get home. While I was still cooking, the doorbell rang, I rushed to open the door to welcome them, but low and behold who did I see? It was Henry and ‘Skull.’
I had to consciously pretend as if I have never met him before. Raphael introduced us to each other and it was obvious he too recognised me but pretended not to have met me. “God, has my past come to haunt and torture me in my own house for a month?” I asked myself. That night I could not sleep as the rape of that night played afresh in my head.
Two days later, Raphael told me he has to travel on an official trip for a week. He asked that I take good care of myself and his cousin. Since the day Raphael travelled, I became restless and uncomfortable in my own house.The first three nights of his absence, I made conscious effort to make sure I didn’t forget to lock my bedroom door. I’m a light sleeper so, I knew that for three consecutive nights, Festus tried opening my room door but without success.
Unfortunately, on the fourth night, I got home quite late, quickly prepared dinner for Festus and went straight to my room. I guess because I was too tired, I slept off immediately taking a bath, so, I forgot to lock the door. Later, Festus entered into my room and was tip toeing towards the bed when I woke up all of a sudden.
“What are you doing in my bedroom?” “Do you want to rape me again? Once does not seem to be enough for you. If you touch me, I swear I will kill you,” I threatened him. But boldly, he walked towards me without knowing what awaits him. I did not panic as he came close, he did not even notice that I had slipped my hand under my pillow where my kitchen knife was in anticipation of any threat to my life. As he came closer, I brought out the knife and told him, “I will kill him if you take another step.” When he saw that I was serious, he ran out of the room. That was how Henry’s thought of raping me again vanished. In fact, I never failed to flaunt the knife even when we are watching tv together in the sitting room. The remaining days before Raphael’s return, he behaved himself but I still had to be careful.
When Raphael returned, he noticed that I was not as cheerful as I used to be. He asked me if anything happened while he was away but I lied to him. A few days ago, he informed me that he will be travelling again in a week’s time to complete another assignment. I know that I cannot stay in the house alone with Festus. What excuse should I give my husband for not wanting to stay with his cousin? Should I open up to him? But what will be his reaction? I love my husband so much but I also don’t want to commit murder. What is the right step to take?
When I got home, I told myself, “One rape in a life time is bad enough but to go through it thrice was unbearable. There and then, I vowed that I will kill any man who tries it again.” I never failed to constantly ask myself why life has been so unfair to me. I decided to put it behind me and make something out of my life.
Today I am happily married to Raphael but I am scared of sex and I hardly enjoy it even if I want to. And because of my attitude towards sex, Raphael has asked me severally if I have ever been raped but I said no. “How could I tell my husband that I have been raped thrice, one of which was by a gang of five? He will think something is wrong with me,” I told myself.
One evening, when Raphael came back from work, he informed me that his cousin Festus will be arriving from London the next day and he would be spending a month with us. He told me how notorious Festus was before he met his wife who turned his life around. He asked me to get the guest room ready for him. The next day, I got home early just to ensure all was set before Raphael and Festus get home. While I was still cooking, the doorbell rang, I rushed to open the door to welcome them, but low and behold who did I see? It was Henry and ‘Skull.’
I had to consciously pretend as if I have never met him before. Raphael introduced us to each other and it was obvious he too recognised me but pretended not to have met me. “God, has my past come to haunt and torture me in my own house for a month?” I asked myself. That night I could not sleep as the rape of that night played afresh in my head.
Two days later, Raphael told me he has to travel on an official trip for a week. He asked that I take good care of myself and his cousin. Since the day Raphael travelled, I became restless and uncomfortable in my own house.The first three nights of his absence, I made conscious effort to make sure I didn’t forget to lock my bedroom door. I’m a light sleeper so, I knew that for three consecutive nights, Festus tried opening my room door but without success.
Unfortunately, on the fourth night, I got home quite late, quickly prepared dinner for Festus and went straight to my room. I guess because I was too tired, I slept off immediately taking a bath, so, I forgot to lock the door. Later, Festus entered into my room and was tip toeing towards the bed when I woke up all of a sudden.
“What are you doing in my bedroom?” “Do you want to rape me again? Once does not seem to be enough for you. If you touch me, I swear I will kill you,” I threatened him. But boldly, he walked towards me without knowing what awaits him. I did not panic as he came close, he did not even notice that I had slipped my hand under my pillow where my kitchen knife was in anticipation of any threat to my life. As he came closer, I brought out the knife and told him, “I will kill him if you take another step.” When he saw that I was serious, he ran out of the room. That was how Henry’s thought of raping me again vanished. In fact, I never failed to flaunt the knife even when we are watching tv together in the sitting room. The remaining days before Raphael’s return, he behaved himself but I still had to be careful.
When Raphael returned, he noticed that I was not as cheerful as I used to be. He asked me if anything happened while he was away but I lied to him. A few days ago, he informed me that he will be travelling again in a week’s time to complete another assignment. I know that I cannot stay in the house alone with Festus. What excuse should I give my husband for not wanting to stay with his cousin? Should I open up to him? But what will be his reaction? I love my husband so much but I also don’t want to commit murder. What is the right step to take?
Poto Credit: Dreamstime
