Years ago, precisely when I was 20-years-old, I was impregnated by my boyfriend, Soji, in Abeokuta. When I told him about the pregnancy, he told me he was an ordinary mechanic and that I should get rid of the pregnancy but I vehemently refused.
Even though I hawked cooked groundnut for my mother, I was determined to keep the pregnancy and cater for my unborn child. When my mother discovered I was pregnant, she was furious because she was just a petty trader who sell under sun and rain to ensure we have food on our plates since the death of my father. Although she was disappointed, she warned me not to have an abortion.
I told her I wanted the child too. But unfortunately, five months into my pregnancy, my mother fell sick and died. I was devastated, I thought that was the end of life for. My mother was everything to me, we cried and laughed together. We were very close even though sometimes we could hardly feed or pay our bills but the fact that we had each made us hopeful.
Luckily, one of my mother’s customer, aunty Bunmi, and her husband took me in when the landlord threw me out of our one room self-contain because I couldn’t pay the rent or any other bill in the compound.
They took very good care of me until my beautiful baby girl was born and they named her Feyi. Aunty Bunmi took care of Feyi like her own daughter. But I noticed that with each passing day, I despised little innocent Feyi but Aunty Bunmi adores her so much that as she grew older, she calls her mummy and refers to me as aunty.
When Feyi clocked six-years-old, I met Akin. Three months later, he proposed and I happily accepted. He never knew I had a daughter and I never told him about Feyi because I was scared if I told him, he would refuse to marry me. Akin is a rich businessman and since I did not want to lose him, I decided to sacrifice my daughter instead.
About one month to the wedding, I told aunty Bunmi that she should take good care of Feyi and continue to be a mother to her. “Aunty Bunmi, I do not want my husband to know that I have a child. You love her more than I do. I give her to you wholeheartedly considering the fact that you don’t even have a child yet.” She thanked me and promised to give her a good upbringing. But she asked me a touchy question. “Biola, why do you hate this little girl so much? What has she done to you?” she questioned. “She reminds me of her miserable mechanic father. I don’t want anything to do with her,” I replied.
I got married to Akin and we were very happy together. Seven months later we moved to Ibadan and I started living the kind of life I have always dreamt of. I am a full time housewife, with drivers and maids at my beck and call, but no children to call me “Mummy.” We went for different tests and the results were the same: nothing was wrong with either of us. Akin always reminded me that God’s time is the best. “I have been hearing this for over 20 years now.” Akin never gave me any doubt that he was waiting with me for God’s time for us to become parents. His mother too never really disturbed me about giving her grandchildren. But I was so disturbed because Akin and I have been married for over 20 years and yet no children to show for it.
Since the day I got married to Akin, I never thought of going to visit aunty Bunmi and Feyi for even one day. As far as I am concerned, even if I don’t have a child yet for Akin, going to see or bring in my daughter was not an option because I despised her so much. I also don’t want Akin to know I have lied to him over the years.
Interestingly, Akin’s business kept expanding, and recently he opened a branch in Abeokuta. To ensure that the office took off on the right footing, he travels to Abeokuta at least twice a week and sometimes he spends almost a week.
